If you get a roomful of women friends together, soon or later the subject will get on to sex. They'll happily swap tips, frequently go into graphic details about their latest sexual exploits, and discuss what they do and don't like in bed. But the focus will remain on couple sex; solo sex will probably never get a mention.
When it comes to masturbation, we're still in the suppressed Fifties. It's like some guilty secret we carry around. Even though nearly all women masturbate; we still pretend as if we don't. Which is a shame. The more something remains hidden, the less accepted it is in society.
Ann Summers parties are a time when masturbation is alluded to. When the vibrators are being passed round, women will occasionally drop hints about the virtues of a particular vibrator. Again, it's covert. Masturbation is still not openly discussed. Something that has the potential to give us a huge amount of pleasure, relaxation, pain relief, and improve our health and sex lives, is still a taboo subject.
In British primary schools today, boys will be given sex education that includes wanking, whereas girls will not be told anything about female masturbation.
Therefore, we'd like to encourage you to breach the subject with close friends; the more comfortable people become with female masturbation, the quicker it'll find acceptance in society as the normal and natural act that it is.
Sunday 30 November 2008
Saturday 29 November 2008
Grow Your Own Orgasms
Follow our 'Grow Your Own Orgasms' tips, for bigger and better climaxes!
Tip #1:
The bigger the build-up; the bigger the orgasm.
So, build yourself up slowly. When you're on the edge of coming; stop. (I know this can require immense willpower, but believe me, it's worth it.) Wait for a few moments and then start stimulating yourself again. Repeat this several more times; when you do finally go over the edge, be sure to let the world know how good it feels!
Tip #2:
Hang your head over the side of the bed.
I discovered this nifty little trick a long time ago in the book, 'Becoming Orgasmic'. When you lie on the bed, be sure to let your head hang down over the side of the bed, this makes the blood rush to your head and more blood means more pleasure.
Tip #3:
Go for the double whammy.
Stimulate your clit and your G-spot at the same time, either with a Rampant Rabbit or by using two; one for your clit and one internally for your G-spot. The advantage of a Rampant Rabbit is that it leaves your hands free to play with your breasts or other erogenous zones (which brings me on to tip #4).
Tip #4:
Play with your other erogenous zones.
Stimulating your other erogenous zones during masturbation, will not only mean you can tell your partner which ones turn you into a crazed nympho and which ones leave you snoozing; you'll also be able to give yourself better orgasms. Top erogenous zones for women are (in order):
Neck
Ears
Breasts
Nipples
Thighs
Back
Lips
Hips
Stomach
Buttocks
I have incredibly sensitive nipples, and pinching these quickly sends me over the edge.
There are other erogenous zones that may be personal to you; I find pressing the base of my toes (on the sole) to be a huge turn-on.
Tip #5:
Breathe.
Important this. And not just for the obvious. A lot of women's breathing is too shallow when they masturbate and this can make their orgasms small and weeny, rather than big and lusty.
Tip #6:
Temperature.
During masturbation and sex your heart rate speeds-up, so you can quickly get too hot. If you do, stop what you're doing, take a few layers of clothing/bedding off and then begin again. Being too hot can put a damper on your orgasm.
Tip #7:
Meditate.
I've mentioned this before, but the brain is in the same state when you orgasm as it is when you meditate. Therefore, the 'backdoor' way to an orgasm is to meditate at the same time as you masturbate. My most intense orgasms have come from doing this.
Tip #1:
The bigger the build-up; the bigger the orgasm.
So, build yourself up slowly. When you're on the edge of coming; stop. (I know this can require immense willpower, but believe me, it's worth it.) Wait for a few moments and then start stimulating yourself again. Repeat this several more times; when you do finally go over the edge, be sure to let the world know how good it feels!
Tip #2:
Hang your head over the side of the bed.
I discovered this nifty little trick a long time ago in the book, 'Becoming Orgasmic'. When you lie on the bed, be sure to let your head hang down over the side of the bed, this makes the blood rush to your head and more blood means more pleasure.
Tip #3:
Go for the double whammy.
Stimulate your clit and your G-spot at the same time, either with a Rampant Rabbit or by using two; one for your clit and one internally for your G-spot. The advantage of a Rampant Rabbit is that it leaves your hands free to play with your breasts or other erogenous zones (which brings me on to tip #4).
Tip #4:
Play with your other erogenous zones.
Stimulating your other erogenous zones during masturbation, will not only mean you can tell your partner which ones turn you into a crazed nympho and which ones leave you snoozing; you'll also be able to give yourself better orgasms. Top erogenous zones for women are (in order):
Neck
Ears
Breasts
Nipples
Thighs
Back
Lips
Hips
Stomach
Buttocks
I have incredibly sensitive nipples, and pinching these quickly sends me over the edge.
There are other erogenous zones that may be personal to you; I find pressing the base of my toes (on the sole) to be a huge turn-on.
Tip #5:
Breathe.
Important this. And not just for the obvious. A lot of women's breathing is too shallow when they masturbate and this can make their orgasms small and weeny, rather than big and lusty.
Tip #6:
Temperature.
During masturbation and sex your heart rate speeds-up, so you can quickly get too hot. If you do, stop what you're doing, take a few layers of clothing/bedding off and then begin again. Being too hot can put a damper on your orgasm.
Tip #7:
Meditate.
I've mentioned this before, but the brain is in the same state when you orgasm as it is when you meditate. Therefore, the 'backdoor' way to an orgasm is to meditate at the same time as you masturbate. My most intense orgasms have come from doing this.
Sunday 23 November 2008
Ann Summers Party
Ann Summers parties are fun, but this one was particularly so. The hostess (a friend), opened the door to her guests wearing the Ann Summers Purple Penetrator - to great hilarity! [Sorry, no photos!] (In case you don't know what a Purple Penetrator is, it's a purple strap-on-cock - with a vibrating bullet where you want it.) What ensued was a roomful of ladies, each trying on the Purple Penetrator and posing for the best effect. One even swayed from side-to-side with accompanying lightsaber sound-effects. They also gave their verdict on what it was like to own a cock - one guest finally understood why men sit with their legs open - and it made her glad to be a woman.
Bonk: The Curious Coupling of Sex and Science
'Bonk: The Curious Coupling of Sex and Science' by Mary Roach. Kitty has just ordered this book and Bunny can't wait to get stuck in.
Female Arousal
More from 'I Love Female Orgasm: An Extraordinary Orgasm Guide' by Dorian Solot and Marshall Miller.
In the 1950s and 1960s the pioneering sex researchers Masters & Johnson, hooked women up to machines and studied their bodies' responses from initial arousal through to orgasm. They found that women start off at the excitement phase and then, if stimulation continues, they go through a plateau phase, before finally reaching orgasm.
The 'finally' bit of this last sentence is the most important. Women can take, on average, 20 minutes to reach orgasm. That's a long plateau phase. This wouldn't be such a problem if women (and their male partners!), didn't compare themselves to men, who take, on average, 2 to 5 minutes to reach orgasm. When women compare themselves to men in this way, they end up believing that 20 minutes is a long time, and put pressure on themselves to come more quickly. Yet this pressure pretty much guarantees against an orgasm.
Remember also that this 20 minute plateau phase is an average - whilst some women can come within a few minutes, many women take much longer.
The long plateau phase means many women get bored and give up before they come. If this is you, it probably leaves you feeling extremely frustrated. Unfortunately, this can also become a vicious circle, with the more a woman wants to orgasm, the more she focuses on the fact that she's not coming and the less she focuses on the sensations she's experiencing. Focusing on not coming is likely to produce more of the same - lack of orgasm and the resultant disappointment. Whereas focusing on bodily sensations are more likely to induce the longed for rush of pleasure. Usually, if you continue with the stimulation that aroused you in the first place, and keep your mind on the job, rather than letting it wander onto your latest troubles or mundane trivialities, you will eventually come. Bunny finds that repeating a single word, mantra-like, which is akin to meditation, keeps her mind on the job and helps her to come in a few minutes (rather than 15 minutes).
Women require constant stimulation during orgasm otherwise the orgasm wanes - ensure your partner is aware of this, else you're in for a dissatisfying time.
After climax, the woman's body will eventually return to its nonaroused state, but if you pause stimulation for 10 to 60 seconds (if the clitoris has become too sensitive to touch), and then continue, you may find that you orgasm again. Kitty likes to clench her buttock muscles during orgasm, as she finds this helps her to have another orgasm. However, we would like to point out that orgasms aren't like trophies in a competition, to collect as many as possible.
In the 1950s and 1960s the pioneering sex researchers Masters & Johnson, hooked women up to machines and studied their bodies' responses from initial arousal through to orgasm. They found that women start off at the excitement phase and then, if stimulation continues, they go through a plateau phase, before finally reaching orgasm.
The 'finally' bit of this last sentence is the most important. Women can take, on average, 20 minutes to reach orgasm. That's a long plateau phase. This wouldn't be such a problem if women (and their male partners!), didn't compare themselves to men, who take, on average, 2 to 5 minutes to reach orgasm. When women compare themselves to men in this way, they end up believing that 20 minutes is a long time, and put pressure on themselves to come more quickly. Yet this pressure pretty much guarantees against an orgasm.
Remember also that this 20 minute plateau phase is an average - whilst some women can come within a few minutes, many women take much longer.
The long plateau phase means many women get bored and give up before they come. If this is you, it probably leaves you feeling extremely frustrated. Unfortunately, this can also become a vicious circle, with the more a woman wants to orgasm, the more she focuses on the fact that she's not coming and the less she focuses on the sensations she's experiencing. Focusing on not coming is likely to produce more of the same - lack of orgasm and the resultant disappointment. Whereas focusing on bodily sensations are more likely to induce the longed for rush of pleasure. Usually, if you continue with the stimulation that aroused you in the first place, and keep your mind on the job, rather than letting it wander onto your latest troubles or mundane trivialities, you will eventually come. Bunny finds that repeating a single word, mantra-like, which is akin to meditation, keeps her mind on the job and helps her to come in a few minutes (rather than 15 minutes).
Women require constant stimulation during orgasm otherwise the orgasm wanes - ensure your partner is aware of this, else you're in for a dissatisfying time.
After climax, the woman's body will eventually return to its nonaroused state, but if you pause stimulation for 10 to 60 seconds (if the clitoris has become too sensitive to touch), and then continue, you may find that you orgasm again. Kitty likes to clench her buttock muscles during orgasm, as she finds this helps her to have another orgasm. However, we would like to point out that orgasms aren't like trophies in a competition, to collect as many as possible.
Saturday 22 November 2008
The Clitoris: Does Size Matter?
Does having a big clit mean big orgasms? Does a small clit leave you forever doomed to a life of so-so orgasms?
No!
Whatever the length or diameter of your clitoris; size does not matter. Studies have shown that 'seed-pearl' clits are equally capable of producing intense orgasms as voluptuous clits. Size, therefore, has no impact on the intensity, speed or ease of climax.
No!
Whatever the length or diameter of your clitoris; size does not matter. Studies have shown that 'seed-pearl' clits are equally capable of producing intense orgasms as voluptuous clits. Size, therefore, has no impact on the intensity, speed or ease of climax.
Friday 21 November 2008
Anatomy of Female Orgasm continued
Unlike my previous post, we're now getting onto the anatomy of orgasm stuff I didn't know about until I read, 'I Love Female Orgasm,' by Dorian Solot and Marshall Miller.
I knew the clitoris was the only organ in the human body whose sole reason for existence was pleasure. The clitoris and penis develop from the same tissue when we're in the womb, but it may surprise you to know that the clitoris is more sensitive (it surprised me). It has two to four times more nerve endings per square inch than the head of a penis; which therefore makes it the most sensitive part of the human body. I'm starting to like the sound of this!
I also knew the clitoris wasn't just the tiny nub we can see and feel - it extends deep inside the body. What I didn't know was that it's split into eighteen separate parts, some of which are quite large (and internal). Hey, I did human sexual reproduction in Biology at degree level, but no lecture taught me about the anatomy of this important organ. The visible parts of the clit are the glans, shaft, hood and inner lips. Inside the woman's body is erectile tissue (the tissue which the penis is comprised of); it is formed into a pair of wishbone shaped clitoral legs. These legs are 2 to 3.5 inches long, are positioned in a backward slant towards the tailbone, and engorge with blood during arousal. Incredibly, these 'legs' were documented as early as the 1600s (centuries before modern medicine) - but subsequent anatomists 'forgot' about them.
Complex nerves, ligaments and blood vessels also make up the clitoral organ. Additionally, there are glands to help with lubrication, which are involved in female ejaculation (when it occurs) - this has been receiving considerable attention in recent years.
No account of the anatomy of female orgasm would be complete without mentioning the G-spot, but this is a big enough topic to warrant its own post, so I won't go into it here except to say what it is. The G-spot, or urethral sponge, is an area of erectile tissue surrounding the urethra (the tube you urinate through). However, the effect it has on you when you apply deep pressure to this spot, is far more exciting than its anatomy would ever imply!
The complex anatomy of the clitoris means that women have extensive potential for sexual pleasure; the clitoris, therefore, deserves far more attention than it is currently getting.
I knew the clitoris was the only organ in the human body whose sole reason for existence was pleasure. The clitoris and penis develop from the same tissue when we're in the womb, but it may surprise you to know that the clitoris is more sensitive (it surprised me). It has two to four times more nerve endings per square inch than the head of a penis; which therefore makes it the most sensitive part of the human body. I'm starting to like the sound of this!
I also knew the clitoris wasn't just the tiny nub we can see and feel - it extends deep inside the body. What I didn't know was that it's split into eighteen separate parts, some of which are quite large (and internal). Hey, I did human sexual reproduction in Biology at degree level, but no lecture taught me about the anatomy of this important organ. The visible parts of the clit are the glans, shaft, hood and inner lips. Inside the woman's body is erectile tissue (the tissue which the penis is comprised of); it is formed into a pair of wishbone shaped clitoral legs. These legs are 2 to 3.5 inches long, are positioned in a backward slant towards the tailbone, and engorge with blood during arousal. Incredibly, these 'legs' were documented as early as the 1600s (centuries before modern medicine) - but subsequent anatomists 'forgot' about them.
Complex nerves, ligaments and blood vessels also make up the clitoral organ. Additionally, there are glands to help with lubrication, which are involved in female ejaculation (when it occurs) - this has been receiving considerable attention in recent years.
No account of the anatomy of female orgasm would be complete without mentioning the G-spot, but this is a big enough topic to warrant its own post, so I won't go into it here except to say what it is. The G-spot, or urethral sponge, is an area of erectile tissue surrounding the urethra (the tube you urinate through). However, the effect it has on you when you apply deep pressure to this spot, is far more exciting than its anatomy would ever imply!
The complex anatomy of the clitoris means that women have extensive potential for sexual pleasure; the clitoris, therefore, deserves far more attention than it is currently getting.
Thursday 20 November 2008
Anatomy of Female Orgasm
Have I mentioned yet how much I like 'I Love Female Orgasm: An Extraordinary Orgasm Guide' by Dorian Solot and Marshall Miller? Okay, I've only just started reading it, but so far it's distinct from all of the others I'm reading on masturbation. That's what's great about the selection we bought; they're all refreshingly different. [In case you're interested; they're all on the Amazon link to the right.]
Okay, onto the topic of this post; the anatomy of a female orgasm.
A female orgasm is a series of involuntary contractions; which makes it sound about as thrilling as hiccups. Fortunately, these contractions are accompanied by a rush of pleasure hormones; which are what make orgasm feel so wonderful. The involuntary bit is important, because it means that no two orgasms feel the same, nor can you control how an orgasm is going to feel. However, if you're new to masturbation, I would like to point out that you do learn, through trial and error, which way of masturbating works best for you. [I like to use two vibrators - one on my clit and one inside; Kitty likes to rub her g-spot with her finger.] The involuntary contractions usually take place in the vagina, uterus and anus, and for some women in their hands and feet.
How a woman experiences orgasm is unique to her; some may cry out, whereas others will simply do a sharp intake of breath, or everything in-between. Some women will thrash around, whereas others remain still. One thing to remember though is that holding your breath, being too hot, or being distracted, can all easily prevent orgasm or make it barely noticeable. If you find yourself unable to orgasm, or wish your orgasms were more intense; be sure to breath deeply, maintain a comfortable temperature (you will probably grow hotter whilst masturbating), and try meditation to focus your mind so that it doesn't wander. Out of the three, my experience is that keeping focused is the key to orgasm. I only regularly started to have orgasms worth shouting about when I took Betty Dodson's advice (in her book, 'Sex for One'), and meditated at the same time as masturbating.
The duration of orgasm varies - usually three to fifteen seconds - although they can last up to a minute (isn't it great being a woman? :) )
Okay, onto the topic of this post; the anatomy of a female orgasm.
A female orgasm is a series of involuntary contractions; which makes it sound about as thrilling as hiccups. Fortunately, these contractions are accompanied by a rush of pleasure hormones; which are what make orgasm feel so wonderful. The involuntary bit is important, because it means that no two orgasms feel the same, nor can you control how an orgasm is going to feel. However, if you're new to masturbation, I would like to point out that you do learn, through trial and error, which way of masturbating works best for you. [I like to use two vibrators - one on my clit and one inside; Kitty likes to rub her g-spot with her finger.] The involuntary contractions usually take place in the vagina, uterus and anus, and for some women in their hands and feet.
How a woman experiences orgasm is unique to her; some may cry out, whereas others will simply do a sharp intake of breath, or everything in-between. Some women will thrash around, whereas others remain still. One thing to remember though is that holding your breath, being too hot, or being distracted, can all easily prevent orgasm or make it barely noticeable. If you find yourself unable to orgasm, or wish your orgasms were more intense; be sure to breath deeply, maintain a comfortable temperature (you will probably grow hotter whilst masturbating), and try meditation to focus your mind so that it doesn't wander. Out of the three, my experience is that keeping focused is the key to orgasm. I only regularly started to have orgasms worth shouting about when I took Betty Dodson's advice (in her book, 'Sex for One'), and meditated at the same time as masturbating.
The duration of orgasm varies - usually three to fifteen seconds - although they can last up to a minute (isn't it great being a woman? :) )
Wednesday 12 November 2008
Kitty's Verdict on the Rampant Rabbit Elite from the Ann Summers Range
Kitty used it three times in quick succession, so I guess no complaints there. She was even happier when she realised that it had seven functions for the clit stim - three speeds and four pulse functions.
Tuesday 11 November 2008
Kitty's newfound rampantness
Kitty came off the contraceptive pill recently and since then she's turned into Her Rampantness. Her appetite for bush exploring has been insatiable - she's at it once everyday (frequently more often); whereas when she was under the influence of chemical hormones she only used to show an interest in her nether regions the few days before her period (the week she wasn't taking the pill).
The contraceptive pill is renown for putting a damper on one's libido. If this is you, you might want to consider an alternative form of contraception, although we do realise we're very limited on the options front.
Kitty only used to bush explore by rubbing her clitoris with her fingers. She's recently discovered the wonders of vibrators. She likes them, because when she comes her muscles clamp around the throbbing vibrator - this, coupled with clenching her buttock muscles at the same time, makes her purr! (Excuse the cheese.)
She's now into using one vibrator on her clitoris and another inside her - this has got to be the best. This is why Rampant Rabbits were invented. She's just off now to try out the Rampant Rabbit Elite from the Ann Summers range. I'll let you know how big her smile is when she's done! :)
The contraceptive pill is renown for putting a damper on one's libido. If this is you, you might want to consider an alternative form of contraception, although we do realise we're very limited on the options front.
Kitty only used to bush explore by rubbing her clitoris with her fingers. She's recently discovered the wonders of vibrators. She likes them, because when she comes her muscles clamp around the throbbing vibrator - this, coupled with clenching her buttock muscles at the same time, makes her purr! (Excuse the cheese.)
She's now into using one vibrator on her clitoris and another inside her - this has got to be the best. This is why Rampant Rabbits were invented. She's just off now to try out the Rampant Rabbit Elite from the Ann Summers range. I'll let you know how big her smile is when she's done! :)
Monday 10 November 2008
Female Masturbation to Ease Pain
If you suffer from menstrual cramps, then masturbation during this time can help ease the pain as it increases circulation in the pelvic area. Exercise can also help; if you don't feel like anything too vigorous, try a brisk walk - once the circulation and lymph get moving, you'll feel much better. Likewise anything which constricts the capillaries will make the pain worse - which is why smokers tend to suffer more than non-smokers. [If I was a health worker, I'd tell all of my female patients this to discourage them from smoking; future illness and looking old-before-your-time do not register with teenagers, but monthly pain might.]
I've also heard that masturbation prior to a migraine can help prevent a full-blown attack, however, as I do not suffer from migraines (thankfully!), I cannot vouch for the effectiveness of this. If you happen to suffer from migraines, and you have my every sympathy if you do, you may wish to try masturbating when you feel one coming on.
Masturbation can help you to relax and orgasm releases 'happy' chemicals into the brain; so use it to help you unwind after a stressful day.
Good circulation is essential for every organ of your body, including your genitals. Therefore, by masturbating on a regular basis, you are increasing the blood supply to these organs, and therefore keeping them healthy.
I've also heard that masturbation prior to a migraine can help prevent a full-blown attack, however, as I do not suffer from migraines (thankfully!), I cannot vouch for the effectiveness of this. If you happen to suffer from migraines, and you have my every sympathy if you do, you may wish to try masturbating when you feel one coming on.
Masturbation can help you to relax and orgasm releases 'happy' chemicals into the brain; so use it to help you unwind after a stressful day.
Good circulation is essential for every organ of your body, including your genitals. Therefore, by masturbating on a regular basis, you are increasing the blood supply to these organs, and therefore keeping them healthy.
Monday 3 November 2008
Breast Cancer (on topic)
Breast cancer is, as we all know, one of the biggest killers of women. Yet the reason why it's so deadly is that it's not caught sufficiently early. The earlier it's detected; the greater the chance of survival.
What frustrates me is, why are millions of women dying of this disease each year? Why is it being discovered too late in many instances? We're told to examine our breasts each month, which is sound advice, but doesn't this strike you as odd? Why are women having to be told to essentially touch their own breasts on a regular basis? Surely our breasts play a vital part in our personal sexual pleasure and therefore presumably we'd be touching them (at least) every time we masturbated? [Frequently it is not the woman herself who detects the lump, but her partner whom discovers it whilst fondling her breasts during foreplay; which also implies that he touches her breasts and therefore knows them better than she does!]
Yet obviously many of us don't. I think this stems from the religious notion that our bodies are sinful and dirty, and therefore we shouldn't touch them; an insidious belief that still permeates society.
But this legacy is killing us!
Let's start enjoying our breasts - let's overcome our reluctance in touching them and make it a part of our masturbation sessions. We may even have better orgasms as a result - I have super sensitive nipples and twiddling them is a huge turn on. If we get to know how our breasts feel, then if anything changes we'll catch it early on, and by doing so we stand a much better chance of surviving.
Let's stop dying of this dreadful disease!
What frustrates me is, why are millions of women dying of this disease each year? Why is it being discovered too late in many instances? We're told to examine our breasts each month, which is sound advice, but doesn't this strike you as odd? Why are women having to be told to essentially touch their own breasts on a regular basis? Surely our breasts play a vital part in our personal sexual pleasure and therefore presumably we'd be touching them (at least) every time we masturbated? [Frequently it is not the woman herself who detects the lump, but her partner whom discovers it whilst fondling her breasts during foreplay; which also implies that he touches her breasts and therefore knows them better than she does!]
Yet obviously many of us don't. I think this stems from the religious notion that our bodies are sinful and dirty, and therefore we shouldn't touch them; an insidious belief that still permeates society.
But this legacy is killing us!
Let's start enjoying our breasts - let's overcome our reluctance in touching them and make it a part of our masturbation sessions. We may even have better orgasms as a result - I have super sensitive nipples and twiddling them is a huge turn on. If we get to know how our breasts feel, then if anything changes we'll catch it early on, and by doing so we stand a much better chance of surviving.
Let's stop dying of this dreadful disease!
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