Female Arousal

More from 'I Love Female Orgasm: An Extraordinary Orgasm Guide' by Dorian Solot and Marshall Miller.

In the 1950s and 1960s the pioneering sex researchers Masters & Johnson, hooked women up to machines and studied their bodies' responses from initial arousal through to orgasm. They found that women start off at the excitement phase and then, if stimulation continues, they go through a plateau phase, before finally reaching orgasm.

The 'finally' bit of this last sentence is the most important. Women can take, on average, 20 minutes to reach orgasm. That's a long plateau phase. This wouldn't be such a problem if women (and their male partners!), didn't compare themselves to men, who take, on average, 2 to 5 minutes to reach orgasm. When women compare themselves to men in this way, they end up believing that 20 minutes is a long time, and put pressure on themselves to come more quickly. Yet this pressure pretty much guarantees against an orgasm.

Remember also that this 20 minute plateau phase is an average - whilst some women can come within a few minutes, many women take much longer.

The long plateau phase means many women get bored and give up before they come. If this is you, it probably leaves you feeling extremely frustrated. Unfortunately, this can also become a vicious circle, with the more a woman wants to orgasm, the more she focuses on the fact that she's not coming and the less she focuses on the sensations she's experiencing. Focusing on not coming is likely to produce more of the same - lack of orgasm and the resultant disappointment. Whereas focusing on bodily sensations are more likely to induce the longed for rush of pleasure. Usually, if you continue with the stimulation that aroused you in the first place, and keep your mind on the job, rather than letting it wander onto your latest troubles or mundane trivialities, you will eventually come. Bunny finds that repeating a single word, mantra-like, which is akin to meditation, keeps her mind on the job and helps her to come in a few minutes (rather than 15 minutes).

Women require constant stimulation during orgasm otherwise the orgasm wanes - ensure your partner is aware of this, else you're in for a dissatisfying time.

After climax, the woman's body will eventually return to its nonaroused state, but if you pause stimulation for 10 to 60 seconds (if the clitoris has become too sensitive to touch), and then continue, you may find that you orgasm again. Kitty likes to clench her buttock muscles during orgasm, as she finds this helps her to have another orgasm. However, we would like to point out that orgasms aren't like trophies in a competition, to collect as many as possible.