Friday 24 October 2008

The Erotic Equation

ATTRACTION + OBSTACLES = EXCITEMENT*

How many of your sexual fantasies have involved sex with a person you can't have? If you think about some of the hottest sex you've ever had, chances are it was either illicit or involved overcoming an obstacle. There is something highly alluring about the unattainable, whereas sex with a long-term partner can quickly lose its appeal simply because it's always available.

Does this mean we're doomed to choose between sexual fulfilment and long-term partnership? Not if we look more carefully at what turns us on. By exploring our turn-ons with masturbation we are more in-tune with ourselves. We can then either transfer this knowledge to enhance our sex lives, or if we are single, use it to enjoy our masturbation sessions even more.

According to Jack Morin Ph.D., there are two types of attraction: romantic and lusty. Both types are part of being human and we ignore this fact at our peril. Traditionally, romantic attraction has been seen as the 'purer' of the two, whereas lusty has been associated with sin and evilness. Like all other aspects of our humanity, we feel happier and have a higher self-esteem when we accept all parts of ourselves - even those that may initially make us feel uncomfortable.



*From The Erotic Mind: Unlocking the Inner Sources of Sexual Passion and Fulfillment by Jack Morin, Ph.D.

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