Whenever I leave too long a gap in between my masturbation sessions, I'm always too frustrated to relax properly. This is what happened today. I so wanted an orgasm, having not masturbated for a week (it was difficult getting time alone), that I found myself concentrating too hard on wanting to come, rather than just letting it happen. As a result my orgasm was a 'not quite there' one. The sort where you don't quite leave the plateau phase and so never feel the relief of orgasm. Even when I carried on masturbating, the resulting orgasm still didn't leave me satisfied. It was a so so orgasm; the kind I used to have when I hadn't learnt how to relax and go with the flow properly.
I will try again tomorrow.
I find my most intense orgasms come when I masturbate every other day. Long enough to have raised my desire levels, but not too long to make me frustrated. I discovered this by accident when I was 20 and it still holds today.
How about you? Have you discovered an optimum length of time between your masturbation sessions? I have found it makes a huge difference to the intensity of my orgasms.
Showing posts with label anatomy of female orgasm. Show all posts
Showing posts with label anatomy of female orgasm. Show all posts
Monday, 5 January 2009
Sunday, 23 November 2008
Female Arousal
More from 'I Love Female Orgasm: An Extraordinary Orgasm Guide' by Dorian Solot and Marshall Miller.
In the 1950s and 1960s the pioneering sex researchers Masters & Johnson, hooked women up to machines and studied their bodies' responses from initial arousal through to orgasm. They found that women start off at the excitement phase and then, if stimulation continues, they go through a plateau phase, before finally reaching orgasm.
The 'finally' bit of this last sentence is the most important. Women can take, on average, 20 minutes to reach orgasm. That's a long plateau phase. This wouldn't be such a problem if women (and their male partners!), didn't compare themselves to men, who take, on average, 2 to 5 minutes to reach orgasm. When women compare themselves to men in this way, they end up believing that 20 minutes is a long time, and put pressure on themselves to come more quickly. Yet this pressure pretty much guarantees against an orgasm.
Remember also that this 20 minute plateau phase is an average - whilst some women can come within a few minutes, many women take much longer.
The long plateau phase means many women get bored and give up before they come. If this is you, it probably leaves you feeling extremely frustrated. Unfortunately, this can also become a vicious circle, with the more a woman wants to orgasm, the more she focuses on the fact that she's not coming and the less she focuses on the sensations she's experiencing. Focusing on not coming is likely to produce more of the same - lack of orgasm and the resultant disappointment. Whereas focusing on bodily sensations are more likely to induce the longed for rush of pleasure. Usually, if you continue with the stimulation that aroused you in the first place, and keep your mind on the job, rather than letting it wander onto your latest troubles or mundane trivialities, you will eventually come. Bunny finds that repeating a single word, mantra-like, which is akin to meditation, keeps her mind on the job and helps her to come in a few minutes (rather than 15 minutes).
Women require constant stimulation during orgasm otherwise the orgasm wanes - ensure your partner is aware of this, else you're in for a dissatisfying time.
After climax, the woman's body will eventually return to its nonaroused state, but if you pause stimulation for 10 to 60 seconds (if the clitoris has become too sensitive to touch), and then continue, you may find that you orgasm again. Kitty likes to clench her buttock muscles during orgasm, as she finds this helps her to have another orgasm. However, we would like to point out that orgasms aren't like trophies in a competition, to collect as many as possible.
In the 1950s and 1960s the pioneering sex researchers Masters & Johnson, hooked women up to machines and studied their bodies' responses from initial arousal through to orgasm. They found that women start off at the excitement phase and then, if stimulation continues, they go through a plateau phase, before finally reaching orgasm.
The 'finally' bit of this last sentence is the most important. Women can take, on average, 20 minutes to reach orgasm. That's a long plateau phase. This wouldn't be such a problem if women (and their male partners!), didn't compare themselves to men, who take, on average, 2 to 5 minutes to reach orgasm. When women compare themselves to men in this way, they end up believing that 20 minutes is a long time, and put pressure on themselves to come more quickly. Yet this pressure pretty much guarantees against an orgasm.
Remember also that this 20 minute plateau phase is an average - whilst some women can come within a few minutes, many women take much longer.
The long plateau phase means many women get bored and give up before they come. If this is you, it probably leaves you feeling extremely frustrated. Unfortunately, this can also become a vicious circle, with the more a woman wants to orgasm, the more she focuses on the fact that she's not coming and the less she focuses on the sensations she's experiencing. Focusing on not coming is likely to produce more of the same - lack of orgasm and the resultant disappointment. Whereas focusing on bodily sensations are more likely to induce the longed for rush of pleasure. Usually, if you continue with the stimulation that aroused you in the first place, and keep your mind on the job, rather than letting it wander onto your latest troubles or mundane trivialities, you will eventually come. Bunny finds that repeating a single word, mantra-like, which is akin to meditation, keeps her mind on the job and helps her to come in a few minutes (rather than 15 minutes).
Women require constant stimulation during orgasm otherwise the orgasm wanes - ensure your partner is aware of this, else you're in for a dissatisfying time.
After climax, the woman's body will eventually return to its nonaroused state, but if you pause stimulation for 10 to 60 seconds (if the clitoris has become too sensitive to touch), and then continue, you may find that you orgasm again. Kitty likes to clench her buttock muscles during orgasm, as she finds this helps her to have another orgasm. However, we would like to point out that orgasms aren't like trophies in a competition, to collect as many as possible.
Friday, 21 November 2008
Anatomy of Female Orgasm continued
Unlike my previous post, we're now getting onto the anatomy of orgasm stuff I didn't know about until I read, 'I Love Female Orgasm,' by Dorian Solot and Marshall Miller.
I knew the clitoris was the only organ in the human body whose sole reason for existence was pleasure. The clitoris and penis develop from the same tissue when we're in the womb, but it may surprise you to know that the clitoris is more sensitive (it surprised me). It has two to four times more nerve endings per square inch than the head of a penis; which therefore makes it the most sensitive part of the human body. I'm starting to like the sound of this!
I also knew the clitoris wasn't just the tiny nub we can see and feel - it extends deep inside the body. What I didn't know was that it's split into eighteen separate parts, some of which are quite large (and internal). Hey, I did human sexual reproduction in Biology at degree level, but no lecture taught me about the anatomy of this important organ. The visible parts of the clit are the glans, shaft, hood and inner lips. Inside the woman's body is erectile tissue (the tissue which the penis is comprised of); it is formed into a pair of wishbone shaped clitoral legs. These legs are 2 to 3.5 inches long, are positioned in a backward slant towards the tailbone, and engorge with blood during arousal. Incredibly, these 'legs' were documented as early as the 1600s (centuries before modern medicine) - but subsequent anatomists 'forgot' about them.
Complex nerves, ligaments and blood vessels also make up the clitoral organ. Additionally, there are glands to help with lubrication, which are involved in female ejaculation (when it occurs) - this has been receiving considerable attention in recent years.
No account of the anatomy of female orgasm would be complete without mentioning the G-spot, but this is a big enough topic to warrant its own post, so I won't go into it here except to say what it is. The G-spot, or urethral sponge, is an area of erectile tissue surrounding the urethra (the tube you urinate through). However, the effect it has on you when you apply deep pressure to this spot, is far more exciting than its anatomy would ever imply!
The complex anatomy of the clitoris means that women have extensive potential for sexual pleasure; the clitoris, therefore, deserves far more attention than it is currently getting.
I knew the clitoris was the only organ in the human body whose sole reason for existence was pleasure. The clitoris and penis develop from the same tissue when we're in the womb, but it may surprise you to know that the clitoris is more sensitive (it surprised me). It has two to four times more nerve endings per square inch than the head of a penis; which therefore makes it the most sensitive part of the human body. I'm starting to like the sound of this!
I also knew the clitoris wasn't just the tiny nub we can see and feel - it extends deep inside the body. What I didn't know was that it's split into eighteen separate parts, some of which are quite large (and internal). Hey, I did human sexual reproduction in Biology at degree level, but no lecture taught me about the anatomy of this important organ. The visible parts of the clit are the glans, shaft, hood and inner lips. Inside the woman's body is erectile tissue (the tissue which the penis is comprised of); it is formed into a pair of wishbone shaped clitoral legs. These legs are 2 to 3.5 inches long, are positioned in a backward slant towards the tailbone, and engorge with blood during arousal. Incredibly, these 'legs' were documented as early as the 1600s (centuries before modern medicine) - but subsequent anatomists 'forgot' about them.
Complex nerves, ligaments and blood vessels also make up the clitoral organ. Additionally, there are glands to help with lubrication, which are involved in female ejaculation (when it occurs) - this has been receiving considerable attention in recent years.
No account of the anatomy of female orgasm would be complete without mentioning the G-spot, but this is a big enough topic to warrant its own post, so I won't go into it here except to say what it is. The G-spot, or urethral sponge, is an area of erectile tissue surrounding the urethra (the tube you urinate through). However, the effect it has on you when you apply deep pressure to this spot, is far more exciting than its anatomy would ever imply!
The complex anatomy of the clitoris means that women have extensive potential for sexual pleasure; the clitoris, therefore, deserves far more attention than it is currently getting.
Thursday, 20 November 2008
Anatomy of Female Orgasm
Have I mentioned yet how much I like 'I Love Female Orgasm: An Extraordinary Orgasm Guide' by Dorian Solot and Marshall Miller? Okay, I've only just started reading it, but so far it's distinct from all of the others I'm reading on masturbation. That's what's great about the selection we bought; they're all refreshingly different. [In case you're interested; they're all on the Amazon link to the right.]
Okay, onto the topic of this post; the anatomy of a female orgasm.
A female orgasm is a series of involuntary contractions; which makes it sound about as thrilling as hiccups. Fortunately, these contractions are accompanied by a rush of pleasure hormones; which are what make orgasm feel so wonderful. The involuntary bit is important, because it means that no two orgasms feel the same, nor can you control how an orgasm is going to feel. However, if you're new to masturbation, I would like to point out that you do learn, through trial and error, which way of masturbating works best for you. [I like to use two vibrators - one on my clit and one inside; Kitty likes to rub her g-spot with her finger.] The involuntary contractions usually take place in the vagina, uterus and anus, and for some women in their hands and feet.
How a woman experiences orgasm is unique to her; some may cry out, whereas others will simply do a sharp intake of breath, or everything in-between. Some women will thrash around, whereas others remain still. One thing to remember though is that holding your breath, being too hot, or being distracted, can all easily prevent orgasm or make it barely noticeable. If you find yourself unable to orgasm, or wish your orgasms were more intense; be sure to breath deeply, maintain a comfortable temperature (you will probably grow hotter whilst masturbating), and try meditation to focus your mind so that it doesn't wander. Out of the three, my experience is that keeping focused is the key to orgasm. I only regularly started to have orgasms worth shouting about when I took Betty Dodson's advice (in her book, 'Sex for One'), and meditated at the same time as masturbating.
The duration of orgasm varies - usually three to fifteen seconds - although they can last up to a minute (isn't it great being a woman? :) )
Okay, onto the topic of this post; the anatomy of a female orgasm.
A female orgasm is a series of involuntary contractions; which makes it sound about as thrilling as hiccups. Fortunately, these contractions are accompanied by a rush of pleasure hormones; which are what make orgasm feel so wonderful. The involuntary bit is important, because it means that no two orgasms feel the same, nor can you control how an orgasm is going to feel. However, if you're new to masturbation, I would like to point out that you do learn, through trial and error, which way of masturbating works best for you. [I like to use two vibrators - one on my clit and one inside; Kitty likes to rub her g-spot with her finger.] The involuntary contractions usually take place in the vagina, uterus and anus, and for some women in their hands and feet.
How a woman experiences orgasm is unique to her; some may cry out, whereas others will simply do a sharp intake of breath, or everything in-between. Some women will thrash around, whereas others remain still. One thing to remember though is that holding your breath, being too hot, or being distracted, can all easily prevent orgasm or make it barely noticeable. If you find yourself unable to orgasm, or wish your orgasms were more intense; be sure to breath deeply, maintain a comfortable temperature (you will probably grow hotter whilst masturbating), and try meditation to focus your mind so that it doesn't wander. Out of the three, my experience is that keeping focused is the key to orgasm. I only regularly started to have orgasms worth shouting about when I took Betty Dodson's advice (in her book, 'Sex for One'), and meditated at the same time as masturbating.
The duration of orgasm varies - usually three to fifteen seconds - although they can last up to a minute (isn't it great being a woman? :) )
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