Whenever I leave too long a gap in between my masturbation sessions, I'm always too frustrated to relax properly. This is what happened today. I so wanted an orgasm, having not masturbated for a week (it was difficult getting time alone), that I found myself concentrating too hard on wanting to come, rather than just letting it happen. As a result my orgasm was a 'not quite there' one. The sort where you don't quite leave the plateau phase and so never feel the relief of orgasm. Even when I carried on masturbating, the resulting orgasm still didn't leave me satisfied. It was a so so orgasm; the kind I used to have when I hadn't learnt how to relax and go with the flow properly.
I will try again tomorrow.
I find my most intense orgasms come when I masturbate every other day. Long enough to have raised my desire levels, but not too long to make me frustrated. I discovered this by accident when I was 20 and it still holds today.
How about you? Have you discovered an optimum length of time between your masturbation sessions? I have found it makes a huge difference to the intensity of my orgasms.
Showing posts with label masturbation. Show all posts
Showing posts with label masturbation. Show all posts
Monday, 5 January 2009
Tuesday, 30 December 2008
Female Masturbation Workshops - Would You Attend One?
Back in the 60s/70s/80s Betty Dodson (author of Sex for One) conducted masturbation workshops in the USA, first for women and then, due to popular request, for men.
In these workshops, the dozen or so women would gather together in Dodson's lounge for a weekend and masturbate as a group. The aim was for the women to become more comfortable with their bodies, masturbating and discussing masturbation. As a group they would share what worked for them and what didn't; being able to swap tips meant they could try new things. Dodson didn't perceive masturbation as a poor substitute for sex; she saw it as an essential part of female sexuality. The workshops were hugely popular and Dodson continued running them for many years before calling it a day.
I can't think of anything currently running in the UK which comes anywhere close to this type of class. The nearest I can think of is a Tantric Sex workshop I heard about several years ago; unfortunately the workshop leader wasn't somebody I felt remotely comfortable with and so wasn't even tempted to try it.
I can't decide whether I would be willing to attend such a workshop, should one be available. Part of me is scared by the prospect - masturbation, like sex, is a personal and intimate thing - not something I'm usually willing to perform in front of strangers (even if those strangers are all women). Another part of me would value the availability of such workshops; they help to break down the walls of intimacy-aloofness women can have between themselves. I crave closeness and yet find it hard sometimes to get this need met with women friends. Done well, I think these workshops would help to bring female masturbation out of the closet. Masturbation is natural and normal, but at this point in time, we're still ashamed of it. Done poorly though, the sudden exposure of female masturbation in the media could undo much of the acceptance of this act, which has been so hard won over the decades.
Would you attend a masturbation workshop if it was run by a woman, and whom was deemed by you to be both trustworthy and qualified?
If there is anything you would like to add to this post, your contribution is welcomed in the comments section.
In these workshops, the dozen or so women would gather together in Dodson's lounge for a weekend and masturbate as a group. The aim was for the women to become more comfortable with their bodies, masturbating and discussing masturbation. As a group they would share what worked for them and what didn't; being able to swap tips meant they could try new things. Dodson didn't perceive masturbation as a poor substitute for sex; she saw it as an essential part of female sexuality. The workshops were hugely popular and Dodson continued running them for many years before calling it a day.
I can't think of anything currently running in the UK which comes anywhere close to this type of class. The nearest I can think of is a Tantric Sex workshop I heard about several years ago; unfortunately the workshop leader wasn't somebody I felt remotely comfortable with and so wasn't even tempted to try it.
I can't decide whether I would be willing to attend such a workshop, should one be available. Part of me is scared by the prospect - masturbation, like sex, is a personal and intimate thing - not something I'm usually willing to perform in front of strangers (even if those strangers are all women). Another part of me would value the availability of such workshops; they help to break down the walls of intimacy-aloofness women can have between themselves. I crave closeness and yet find it hard sometimes to get this need met with women friends. Done well, I think these workshops would help to bring female masturbation out of the closet. Masturbation is natural and normal, but at this point in time, we're still ashamed of it. Done poorly though, the sudden exposure of female masturbation in the media could undo much of the acceptance of this act, which has been so hard won over the decades.
Would you attend a masturbation workshop if it was run by a woman, and whom was deemed by you to be both trustworthy and qualified?
If there is anything you would like to add to this post, your contribution is welcomed in the comments section.
Sunday, 28 December 2008
Female Masturbation - A Poor Substitute for Sex or an Essential Part of Female Sexuality?
Up until recently I viewed masturbation as a poor substitute for sex. It was something I did to keep the 'hysteria'* at bay whilst I was in between partners. Okay, given it has helped me to understand what makes me come and what doesn't, but I still saw it as 'second best' to the 'real thing'.
Whilst I still love sex, I'm starting to view masturbation as something I would do in conjunction with regular sex (I have a high sex drive, untempered as it is, by the contraceptive pill). I see now that I can enjoy both - each would fulfil different needs.
It's interesting that whilst half of women report reaching orgasm every time through masturbation, this falls to only a quarter every time from intercourse. Therefore, masturbation can still be seen as important for women in a relationship. If they don't masturbate, they may easily suffer from sexual frustration because sex is not providing orgasmic relief.
Masturbation is a readily available source of self-love. Sometimes you may want orgasmic release without having sex, and masturbation provides the ideal aid.
Masturbation can also serve another use: Allowing your partner to watch you masturbate sometimes, may allow him/her to understand what turns you on better. Ditto for you.
*Historically, hysteria was the diagnosis given to women who were, essentially, suffering from sexual frustration. A physician would manually bring them to orgasm using his fingers, until the invention of the vibrator, which was developed specifically as an aid to these physicians.
Whilst I still love sex, I'm starting to view masturbation as something I would do in conjunction with regular sex (I have a high sex drive, untempered as it is, by the contraceptive pill). I see now that I can enjoy both - each would fulfil different needs.
It's interesting that whilst half of women report reaching orgasm every time through masturbation, this falls to only a quarter every time from intercourse. Therefore, masturbation can still be seen as important for women in a relationship. If they don't masturbate, they may easily suffer from sexual frustration because sex is not providing orgasmic relief.
Masturbation is a readily available source of self-love. Sometimes you may want orgasmic release without having sex, and masturbation provides the ideal aid.
Masturbation can also serve another use: Allowing your partner to watch you masturbate sometimes, may allow him/her to understand what turns you on better. Ditto for you.
*Historically, hysteria was the diagnosis given to women who were, essentially, suffering from sexual frustration. A physician would manually bring them to orgasm using his fingers, until the invention of the vibrator, which was developed specifically as an aid to these physicians.
Tuesday, 23 December 2008
Kegel's Orgasmic Patients
Stay with me on this one. Dr Arnold Kegel developed exercises for strengthening the pubococcygeus muscle (mercifully shortened to PC muscle), for women suffering with urinary incontinence after childbirth. His name may have been rememebered only by gynaecology students, had his patients not discovered a startling side-effect of their diligence. Women who regularly practised his exercises were rewarded with increased sexual gratification. Meaning...
They had more orgasms!
They had more intense orgasms!
Women who before had been unable to orgasm found they were now able to come!
Woohoo!
The great thing about Kegel exercises is that you can do them anytime, anywhere. On the bus, stuck in a traffic jam, in a boring meeting, in the supermarket queue [line], whilst filling your car up, whilst masturbating, etc.
You will get the best results if you do them on a regular basis, which means remembering to do them. We find it helpful to link performing them with something we do already do. For example, Bunny likes to perform them whilst masturbating (which she does most days), because they make her orgasms better at the same time. If you get stuck in a traffic jam on your way home from work each day, you might want to make this time more productive and practise Kegeling. Find an occasion that works for you.
So, how do you Kegel?
To locate the PC muscle, simply stop the stream of urine next time you're on the toilet. This is the muscle you'll be working on. A word of caution: Once you've located the muscle this way, don't use each visit to the bathroom as your practise session; because repeatedly stopping-starting the stream of urine can (we understand) contribute to bladder infections.
Now that you've located the PC muscle, there are different 'exercise routines'(!) you can try:
1. Quick squeezes: quickly squeeze the PC muscle 15 times, then pause for 30 seconds and repeat. The first time you do it, perform 15 reps. The aim is to work your way up to 100 reps, twice a day.
2. Slow hold and release: slowly tighten the muscle and hold it for 5 seconds, then release slowly. Aim for eventually 25 reps twice a day.
3. Thirds: tighten the muscle one third of the way, pause, then squeeze until two thirds of the way, pause, then squeeze until all the way. Aim for 10 reps twice a day.
The idea is to make Kegeling fun for yourself, because let's face it, if you don't enjoy the act, you're not going to do them, no matter what promises of mind-blowing orgasms we tempt you with.
If you're completely unmoved by the thought of Kegeling, try squeezing your vibrator with your PC muscles next time you masturbate - you never know, the Earth may move (go on, allow me the pun). :)
They had more orgasms!
They had more intense orgasms!
Women who before had been unable to orgasm found they were now able to come!
Woohoo!
The great thing about Kegel exercises is that you can do them anytime, anywhere. On the bus, stuck in a traffic jam, in a boring meeting, in the supermarket queue [line], whilst filling your car up, whilst masturbating, etc.
You will get the best results if you do them on a regular basis, which means remembering to do them. We find it helpful to link performing them with something we do already do. For example, Bunny likes to perform them whilst masturbating (which she does most days), because they make her orgasms better at the same time. If you get stuck in a traffic jam on your way home from work each day, you might want to make this time more productive and practise Kegeling. Find an occasion that works for you.
So, how do you Kegel?
To locate the PC muscle, simply stop the stream of urine next time you're on the toilet. This is the muscle you'll be working on. A word of caution: Once you've located the muscle this way, don't use each visit to the bathroom as your practise session; because repeatedly stopping-starting the stream of urine can (we understand) contribute to bladder infections.
Now that you've located the PC muscle, there are different 'exercise routines'(!) you can try:
1. Quick squeezes: quickly squeeze the PC muscle 15 times, then pause for 30 seconds and repeat. The first time you do it, perform 15 reps. The aim is to work your way up to 100 reps, twice a day.
2. Slow hold and release: slowly tighten the muscle and hold it for 5 seconds, then release slowly. Aim for eventually 25 reps twice a day.
3. Thirds: tighten the muscle one third of the way, pause, then squeeze until two thirds of the way, pause, then squeeze until all the way. Aim for 10 reps twice a day.
The idea is to make Kegeling fun for yourself, because let's face it, if you don't enjoy the act, you're not going to do them, no matter what promises of mind-blowing orgasms we tempt you with.
If you're completely unmoved by the thought of Kegeling, try squeezing your vibrator with your PC muscles next time you masturbate - you never know, the Earth may move (go on, allow me the pun). :)
Sunday, 21 December 2008
Is Female Masturbation Evil?
I'm not clear why masturbation is still seen as wrong by religious orders. I realise the story of Onan in the Bible is used to condemn masturbation and, by the Catholic Church, sex without procreation. [Which to me smacks of a supposedly loving and merciful god killing two people for having independent thought.] However, biblical scholars view the killing of the two brothers Onan and Er to be an eponymous etiological myth - i.e. it didn't really happen as described, but is really meant to allude to the dying out of a clan. I'm no biblical scholar, but that to me rules out the connection between Onan and masturbation.
I'm not keen on the word evil, as I believe that all human actions are performed in an attempt to meet universal human needs (e.g. love, autonomy, independence, trust, honesty, etc. - for a full list, I overwhelmingly recommend the life-changing book Non-violent Communication: A Language of Life by Marshall B. Rosenberg Ph.D.); however, the strategy used to try and meet those needs may be tragic. For clarity, I'm not condoning anything that harms people (murder, rape, theft, etc.), I'm simply saying that I don't think labelling these actions as evil is helpful. I realise this is a radical way of viewing the world, so if you're interested, I recommend reading Rosenberg's book (above).
So, coming from this angle, we can simply ask, "Is masturbation harmful to me?"
Let's take a look:
Does masturbation cause physical harm?
No.
Contrary to popular myth, masturbation does not make you go blind or insane, cause acne, or make hairs grow on the palms of your hands.
In reality, the opposite is true - masturbation is physically good for you. It improves immunity, increases circulation, helps you to relax, and releases feel-good hormones into the bloodstream.
Does masturbation give rise to sexually transmitted diseases?
No.
Masturbation is the safest form of sex. You can't transmit any kind of STD to yourself from masturbation, unless you're already infected. For example, if you have a cold sore on your mouth (oral herpes), don't touch it and then masturbate without washing your hands first, as you'll give yourself genital herpes (for the same reason, don't give your partner oral sex if you have a cold sore).
You also can't get pregnant from masturbation, which makes me wonder why it isn't included in all of the sex education programs.
Will masturbation prevent you from enjoying sex?
No.
Masturbation can help you to enjoy sex more; the more you learn about what turns you on and what doesn't, the easier it'll be to convey to your partner what you do and don't like. Meaning, the more you understand what makes you come (and, just as importantly, what prevents you from coming); the more likely you are to orgasm.
Is masturbation harmful to anyone else?
Unless you're masturbating in front of a minor, or inflicting the act upon an unwilling adult viewer, we can't see how it can be harmful to anyone else.
I'm not keen on the word evil, as I believe that all human actions are performed in an attempt to meet universal human needs (e.g. love, autonomy, independence, trust, honesty, etc. - for a full list, I overwhelmingly recommend the life-changing book Non-violent Communication: A Language of Life by Marshall B. Rosenberg Ph.D.); however, the strategy used to try and meet those needs may be tragic. For clarity, I'm not condoning anything that harms people (murder, rape, theft, etc.), I'm simply saying that I don't think labelling these actions as evil is helpful. I realise this is a radical way of viewing the world, so if you're interested, I recommend reading Rosenberg's book (above).
So, coming from this angle, we can simply ask, "Is masturbation harmful to me?"
Let's take a look:
Does masturbation cause physical harm?
No.
Contrary to popular myth, masturbation does not make you go blind or insane, cause acne, or make hairs grow on the palms of your hands.
In reality, the opposite is true - masturbation is physically good for you. It improves immunity, increases circulation, helps you to relax, and releases feel-good hormones into the bloodstream.
Does masturbation give rise to sexually transmitted diseases?
No.
Masturbation is the safest form of sex. You can't transmit any kind of STD to yourself from masturbation, unless you're already infected. For example, if you have a cold sore on your mouth (oral herpes), don't touch it and then masturbate without washing your hands first, as you'll give yourself genital herpes (for the same reason, don't give your partner oral sex if you have a cold sore).
You also can't get pregnant from masturbation, which makes me wonder why it isn't included in all of the sex education programs.
Will masturbation prevent you from enjoying sex?
No.
Masturbation can help you to enjoy sex more; the more you learn about what turns you on and what doesn't, the easier it'll be to convey to your partner what you do and don't like. Meaning, the more you understand what makes you come (and, just as importantly, what prevents you from coming); the more likely you are to orgasm.
Is masturbation harmful to anyone else?
Unless you're masturbating in front of a minor, or inflicting the act upon an unwilling adult viewer, we can't see how it can be harmful to anyone else.
Friday, 19 December 2008
Body Image & Orgasms
Do you like your own body? Does looking at it bring you pleasure or do you stare critically at it, only seeing what you perceive as faults?
I don't know about you, but I grew-up with a very poor body image; obese as a child, I was picked on at school about my weight. This led me to hate my body as an adolescent. It has taken me many years to accept myself; helped by a healthy diet and exercising through enjoyable hobbies (dancing and martial arts). As an aside: If you've never managed to stick to an exercise routine, chances are you were going to the gym and/or doing a form of exercise for the sake of exercising; rather than something which you enjoyed doing, but which just so happened to involve exercise as well. I learnt this tip from male friends; why punish yourself through exercise when you can have a good time instead? Clever huh?! [This is possibly one of the reasons why there are fewer obese men than women.]
As for a healthy diet, I'm convinced most dieters fail because they've been tricked into believing that they can still eat 'treats', but just not as often. Some people have the willpower required to only occasionally eat calorie-laden nutrient-empty foods. Most people do not fall into this category. Try giving-up junk foods for good and you will eventually lose the taste for them. The reason why you currently crave them is because they are loaded with salt and sugar. Oh, and the reason why you crave food in general is because your body is crying-out for nutrients, so eating nutrient-dense foods will help curb these cravings.
Anyway, I digress... If we're loony enough to compare ourselves to images of airbrushed supermodels, we are, of course, doomed to measure-up short. With the resultant anguish this causes. This matters not only because of the negative impact it has on our self-esteem, but also because a poor body image can prevent us from enjoying sex. If, during a bit of horizontal jogging (yes, you can include sex in your exercise quotient), all you can focus on is how big your thighs are, don't be surprised if you don't orgasm. Orgasms come to those who focus on the sensations of pleasure, not to body-obsessed worry worts.
Yes, it's unfair. Believe me, I know.
Masturbation can help to shift your focus from 'how big your thighs are' to what feels good. Hopefully, if no one else is looking at you, your negative self-talk may be quietened a little, and you may be able to reach orgasm.
Has this helped?
I don't know about you, but I grew-up with a very poor body image; obese as a child, I was picked on at school about my weight. This led me to hate my body as an adolescent. It has taken me many years to accept myself; helped by a healthy diet and exercising through enjoyable hobbies (dancing and martial arts). As an aside: If you've never managed to stick to an exercise routine, chances are you were going to the gym and/or doing a form of exercise for the sake of exercising; rather than something which you enjoyed doing, but which just so happened to involve exercise as well. I learnt this tip from male friends; why punish yourself through exercise when you can have a good time instead? Clever huh?! [This is possibly one of the reasons why there are fewer obese men than women.]
As for a healthy diet, I'm convinced most dieters fail because they've been tricked into believing that they can still eat 'treats', but just not as often. Some people have the willpower required to only occasionally eat calorie-laden nutrient-empty foods. Most people do not fall into this category. Try giving-up junk foods for good and you will eventually lose the taste for them. The reason why you currently crave them is because they are loaded with salt and sugar. Oh, and the reason why you crave food in general is because your body is crying-out for nutrients, so eating nutrient-dense foods will help curb these cravings.
Anyway, I digress... If we're loony enough to compare ourselves to images of airbrushed supermodels, we are, of course, doomed to measure-up short. With the resultant anguish this causes. This matters not only because of the negative impact it has on our self-esteem, but also because a poor body image can prevent us from enjoying sex. If, during a bit of horizontal jogging (yes, you can include sex in your exercise quotient), all you can focus on is how big your thighs are, don't be surprised if you don't orgasm. Orgasms come to those who focus on the sensations of pleasure, not to body-obsessed worry worts.
Yes, it's unfair. Believe me, I know.
Masturbation can help to shift your focus from 'how big your thighs are' to what feels good. Hopefully, if no one else is looking at you, your negative self-talk may be quietened a little, and you may be able to reach orgasm.
Has this helped?
Wednesday, 17 December 2008
Would You Masturbate in Front of Your Female Friends?
Would you masturbate in front of your female friends? A lot of women are happy masturbating in front of their boyfriend/partner/husband, but what about their female friends? We're not talking about so they can watch, unless that is something which you want to do, we're simply talking about two heterosexual women masturbating at the same time, in the same room.
We're not suggesting you suddenly start masturbating whilst one of your friends is round, that is, inflicting it upon an unwilling participant; we're talking about two women agreeing to masturbate in the same room.
It's something that we've recently started doing. It started off that we'd talk about masturbation, then talk about when we'd masturbated and our experience of that particular orgasm, and then we'd happen to be together when we were both feeling randy. So, we'd begin masturbating at the same time, but in different rooms, and then wait until the other person had finished. Until one day Bunny suggested doing it in the same room; we don't watch each other, that's not what this is about for us. It's simply a way of sharing more intimacy. We then snuggle afterwards. It's more intimacy that we as women can easily share; it makes masturbation even less of a taboo and we think it's important to break-down this wall of fear associated with masturbation. We think the more women become comfortable doing it in front of their female friends, the faster masturbation will be viewed as the normal act which it is, and the sooner masturbation taboos will disappear from society.
We're not suggesting you suddenly start masturbating whilst one of your friends is round, that is, inflicting it upon an unwilling participant; we're talking about two women agreeing to masturbate in the same room.
It's something that we've recently started doing. It started off that we'd talk about masturbation, then talk about when we'd masturbated and our experience of that particular orgasm, and then we'd happen to be together when we were both feeling randy. So, we'd begin masturbating at the same time, but in different rooms, and then wait until the other person had finished. Until one day Bunny suggested doing it in the same room; we don't watch each other, that's not what this is about for us. It's simply a way of sharing more intimacy. We then snuggle afterwards. It's more intimacy that we as women can easily share; it makes masturbation even less of a taboo and we think it's important to break-down this wall of fear associated with masturbation. We think the more women become comfortable doing it in front of their female friends, the faster masturbation will be viewed as the normal act which it is, and the sooner masturbation taboos will disappear from society.
Tuesday, 16 December 2008
How Often Do You Masturbate?
How often do you masturbate?
I (Bunny), usually masturbate on a daily basis. Sometimes I'll masturbate more than once a day. If I go for more than a few days without masturbating then I'll have really sexy dreams which involve either having sex with someone or masturbating. I've masturbated this frequently since I can remember, certainly since I was 21 (I'm now 35).
I've recently been ill with a bad cold and so haven't masturbated for several days; the malaise that came with the cold has killed-off my desire too.
When Kitty was on the contraceptive pill, she found it incredible that Bunny masturbated so frequently. She just couldn't comprehend why anyone would want to masturbate so much - just what was the appeal? Then she came off the pill and realised what she'd been missing. She now masturbates on an almost daily basis. Before she used to masturbate only when she had her period each month (i.e. when she wasn't taking the pill).
I find that sexual desire has a cycle; some months I can go for a week or so without masturbating. I'll then have a stint of feeling exceptionally randy and can't get enough, and masturbate several times a day. Although increased sexual desire in women has been associated with the peak of hormones during ovulation (which evens out after the menopause and also when taking the contraceptive pill), I don't find that my desire is a slave to such peaks. I can be at my randiest just before my period, and my desire may or may not increase during my fertile peaks.
Masturbation has lots of health benefits; it can improve immunity, help us to relax and relieve pain. It's also a regular and consistent source of pleasure. For these reasons, we're big fans of it, and don't think anybody should stint on it. We realise though that it's an entirely personal thing; how often is down to your own preferences. We've created a poll to see the masturbation habits of other women and invite you to participate - all answers are anonymous. We'll write about the results when the poll closes in a few month's time.
I (Bunny), usually masturbate on a daily basis. Sometimes I'll masturbate more than once a day. If I go for more than a few days without masturbating then I'll have really sexy dreams which involve either having sex with someone or masturbating. I've masturbated this frequently since I can remember, certainly since I was 21 (I'm now 35).
I've recently been ill with a bad cold and so haven't masturbated for several days; the malaise that came with the cold has killed-off my desire too.
When Kitty was on the contraceptive pill, she found it incredible that Bunny masturbated so frequently. She just couldn't comprehend why anyone would want to masturbate so much - just what was the appeal? Then she came off the pill and realised what she'd been missing. She now masturbates on an almost daily basis. Before she used to masturbate only when she had her period each month (i.e. when she wasn't taking the pill).
I find that sexual desire has a cycle; some months I can go for a week or so without masturbating. I'll then have a stint of feeling exceptionally randy and can't get enough, and masturbate several times a day. Although increased sexual desire in women has been associated with the peak of hormones during ovulation (which evens out after the menopause and also when taking the contraceptive pill), I don't find that my desire is a slave to such peaks. I can be at my randiest just before my period, and my desire may or may not increase during my fertile peaks.
Masturbation has lots of health benefits; it can improve immunity, help us to relax and relieve pain. It's also a regular and consistent source of pleasure. For these reasons, we're big fans of it, and don't think anybody should stint on it. We realise though that it's an entirely personal thing; how often is down to your own preferences. We've created a poll to see the masturbation habits of other women and invite you to participate - all answers are anonymous. We'll write about the results when the poll closes in a few month's time.
Sunday, 30 November 2008
The Guilty Secret
If you get a roomful of women friends together, soon or later the subject will get on to sex. They'll happily swap tips, frequently go into graphic details about their latest sexual exploits, and discuss what they do and don't like in bed. But the focus will remain on couple sex; solo sex will probably never get a mention.
When it comes to masturbation, we're still in the suppressed Fifties. It's like some guilty secret we carry around. Even though nearly all women masturbate; we still pretend as if we don't. Which is a shame. The more something remains hidden, the less accepted it is in society.
Ann Summers parties are a time when masturbation is alluded to. When the vibrators are being passed round, women will occasionally drop hints about the virtues of a particular vibrator. Again, it's covert. Masturbation is still not openly discussed. Something that has the potential to give us a huge amount of pleasure, relaxation, pain relief, and improve our health and sex lives, is still a taboo subject.
In British primary schools today, boys will be given sex education that includes wanking, whereas girls will not be told anything about female masturbation.
Therefore, we'd like to encourage you to breach the subject with close friends; the more comfortable people become with female masturbation, the quicker it'll find acceptance in society as the normal and natural act that it is.
When it comes to masturbation, we're still in the suppressed Fifties. It's like some guilty secret we carry around. Even though nearly all women masturbate; we still pretend as if we don't. Which is a shame. The more something remains hidden, the less accepted it is in society.
Ann Summers parties are a time when masturbation is alluded to. When the vibrators are being passed round, women will occasionally drop hints about the virtues of a particular vibrator. Again, it's covert. Masturbation is still not openly discussed. Something that has the potential to give us a huge amount of pleasure, relaxation, pain relief, and improve our health and sex lives, is still a taboo subject.
In British primary schools today, boys will be given sex education that includes wanking, whereas girls will not be told anything about female masturbation.
Therefore, we'd like to encourage you to breach the subject with close friends; the more comfortable people become with female masturbation, the quicker it'll find acceptance in society as the normal and natural act that it is.
Saturday, 29 November 2008
Grow Your Own Orgasms
Follow our 'Grow Your Own Orgasms' tips, for bigger and better climaxes!
Tip #1:
The bigger the build-up; the bigger the orgasm.
So, build yourself up slowly. When you're on the edge of coming; stop. (I know this can require immense willpower, but believe me, it's worth it.) Wait for a few moments and then start stimulating yourself again. Repeat this several more times; when you do finally go over the edge, be sure to let the world know how good it feels!
Tip #2:
Hang your head over the side of the bed.
I discovered this nifty little trick a long time ago in the book, 'Becoming Orgasmic'. When you lie on the bed, be sure to let your head hang down over the side of the bed, this makes the blood rush to your head and more blood means more pleasure.
Tip #3:
Go for the double whammy.
Stimulate your clit and your G-spot at the same time, either with a Rampant Rabbit or by using two; one for your clit and one internally for your G-spot. The advantage of a Rampant Rabbit is that it leaves your hands free to play with your breasts or other erogenous zones (which brings me on to tip #4).
Tip #4:
Play with your other erogenous zones.
Stimulating your other erogenous zones during masturbation, will not only mean you can tell your partner which ones turn you into a crazed nympho and which ones leave you snoozing; you'll also be able to give yourself better orgasms. Top erogenous zones for women are (in order):
Neck
Ears
Breasts
Nipples
Thighs
Back
Lips
Hips
Stomach
Buttocks
I have incredibly sensitive nipples, and pinching these quickly sends me over the edge.
There are other erogenous zones that may be personal to you; I find pressing the base of my toes (on the sole) to be a huge turn-on.
Tip #5:
Breathe.
Important this. And not just for the obvious. A lot of women's breathing is too shallow when they masturbate and this can make their orgasms small and weeny, rather than big and lusty.
Tip #6:
Temperature.
During masturbation and sex your heart rate speeds-up, so you can quickly get too hot. If you do, stop what you're doing, take a few layers of clothing/bedding off and then begin again. Being too hot can put a damper on your orgasm.
Tip #7:
Meditate.
I've mentioned this before, but the brain is in the same state when you orgasm as it is when you meditate. Therefore, the 'backdoor' way to an orgasm is to meditate at the same time as you masturbate. My most intense orgasms have come from doing this.
Tip #1:
The bigger the build-up; the bigger the orgasm.
So, build yourself up slowly. When you're on the edge of coming; stop. (I know this can require immense willpower, but believe me, it's worth it.) Wait for a few moments and then start stimulating yourself again. Repeat this several more times; when you do finally go over the edge, be sure to let the world know how good it feels!
Tip #2:
Hang your head over the side of the bed.
I discovered this nifty little trick a long time ago in the book, 'Becoming Orgasmic'. When you lie on the bed, be sure to let your head hang down over the side of the bed, this makes the blood rush to your head and more blood means more pleasure.
Tip #3:
Go for the double whammy.
Stimulate your clit and your G-spot at the same time, either with a Rampant Rabbit or by using two; one for your clit and one internally for your G-spot. The advantage of a Rampant Rabbit is that it leaves your hands free to play with your breasts or other erogenous zones (which brings me on to tip #4).
Tip #4:
Play with your other erogenous zones.
Stimulating your other erogenous zones during masturbation, will not only mean you can tell your partner which ones turn you into a crazed nympho and which ones leave you snoozing; you'll also be able to give yourself better orgasms. Top erogenous zones for women are (in order):
Neck
Ears
Breasts
Nipples
Thighs
Back
Lips
Hips
Stomach
Buttocks
I have incredibly sensitive nipples, and pinching these quickly sends me over the edge.
There are other erogenous zones that may be personal to you; I find pressing the base of my toes (on the sole) to be a huge turn-on.
Tip #5:
Breathe.
Important this. And not just for the obvious. A lot of women's breathing is too shallow when they masturbate and this can make their orgasms small and weeny, rather than big and lusty.
Tip #6:
Temperature.
During masturbation and sex your heart rate speeds-up, so you can quickly get too hot. If you do, stop what you're doing, take a few layers of clothing/bedding off and then begin again. Being too hot can put a damper on your orgasm.
Tip #7:
Meditate.
I've mentioned this before, but the brain is in the same state when you orgasm as it is when you meditate. Therefore, the 'backdoor' way to an orgasm is to meditate at the same time as you masturbate. My most intense orgasms have come from doing this.
Tuesday, 11 November 2008
Kitty's newfound rampantness
Kitty came off the contraceptive pill recently and since then she's turned into Her Rampantness. Her appetite for bush exploring has been insatiable - she's at it once everyday (frequently more often); whereas when she was under the influence of chemical hormones she only used to show an interest in her nether regions the few days before her period (the week she wasn't taking the pill).
The contraceptive pill is renown for putting a damper on one's libido. If this is you, you might want to consider an alternative form of contraception, although we do realise we're very limited on the options front.
Kitty only used to bush explore by rubbing her clitoris with her fingers. She's recently discovered the wonders of vibrators. She likes them, because when she comes her muscles clamp around the throbbing vibrator - this, coupled with clenching her buttock muscles at the same time, makes her purr! (Excuse the cheese.)
She's now into using one vibrator on her clitoris and another inside her - this has got to be the best. This is why Rampant Rabbits were invented. She's just off now to try out the Rampant Rabbit Elite from the Ann Summers range. I'll let you know how big her smile is when she's done! :)
The contraceptive pill is renown for putting a damper on one's libido. If this is you, you might want to consider an alternative form of contraception, although we do realise we're very limited on the options front.
Kitty only used to bush explore by rubbing her clitoris with her fingers. She's recently discovered the wonders of vibrators. She likes them, because when she comes her muscles clamp around the throbbing vibrator - this, coupled with clenching her buttock muscles at the same time, makes her purr! (Excuse the cheese.)
She's now into using one vibrator on her clitoris and another inside her - this has got to be the best. This is why Rampant Rabbits were invented. She's just off now to try out the Rampant Rabbit Elite from the Ann Summers range. I'll let you know how big her smile is when she's done! :)
Monday, 10 November 2008
Female Masturbation to Ease Pain
If you suffer from menstrual cramps, then masturbation during this time can help ease the pain as it increases circulation in the pelvic area. Exercise can also help; if you don't feel like anything too vigorous, try a brisk walk - once the circulation and lymph get moving, you'll feel much better. Likewise anything which constricts the capillaries will make the pain worse - which is why smokers tend to suffer more than non-smokers. [If I was a health worker, I'd tell all of my female patients this to discourage them from smoking; future illness and looking old-before-your-time do not register with teenagers, but monthly pain might.]
I've also heard that masturbation prior to a migraine can help prevent a full-blown attack, however, as I do not suffer from migraines (thankfully!), I cannot vouch for the effectiveness of this. If you happen to suffer from migraines, and you have my every sympathy if you do, you may wish to try masturbating when you feel one coming on.
Masturbation can help you to relax and orgasm releases 'happy' chemicals into the brain; so use it to help you unwind after a stressful day.
Good circulation is essential for every organ of your body, including your genitals. Therefore, by masturbating on a regular basis, you are increasing the blood supply to these organs, and therefore keeping them healthy.
I've also heard that masturbation prior to a migraine can help prevent a full-blown attack, however, as I do not suffer from migraines (thankfully!), I cannot vouch for the effectiveness of this. If you happen to suffer from migraines, and you have my every sympathy if you do, you may wish to try masturbating when you feel one coming on.
Masturbation can help you to relax and orgasm releases 'happy' chemicals into the brain; so use it to help you unwind after a stressful day.
Good circulation is essential for every organ of your body, including your genitals. Therefore, by masturbating on a regular basis, you are increasing the blood supply to these organs, and therefore keeping them healthy.
Monday, 3 November 2008
Breast Cancer (on topic)
Breast cancer is, as we all know, one of the biggest killers of women. Yet the reason why it's so deadly is that it's not caught sufficiently early. The earlier it's detected; the greater the chance of survival.
What frustrates me is, why are millions of women dying of this disease each year? Why is it being discovered too late in many instances? We're told to examine our breasts each month, which is sound advice, but doesn't this strike you as odd? Why are women having to be told to essentially touch their own breasts on a regular basis? Surely our breasts play a vital part in our personal sexual pleasure and therefore presumably we'd be touching them (at least) every time we masturbated? [Frequently it is not the woman herself who detects the lump, but her partner whom discovers it whilst fondling her breasts during foreplay; which also implies that he touches her breasts and therefore knows them better than she does!]
Yet obviously many of us don't. I think this stems from the religious notion that our bodies are sinful and dirty, and therefore we shouldn't touch them; an insidious belief that still permeates society.
But this legacy is killing us!
Let's start enjoying our breasts - let's overcome our reluctance in touching them and make it a part of our masturbation sessions. We may even have better orgasms as a result - I have super sensitive nipples and twiddling them is a huge turn on. If we get to know how our breasts feel, then if anything changes we'll catch it early on, and by doing so we stand a much better chance of surviving.
Let's stop dying of this dreadful disease!
What frustrates me is, why are millions of women dying of this disease each year? Why is it being discovered too late in many instances? We're told to examine our breasts each month, which is sound advice, but doesn't this strike you as odd? Why are women having to be told to essentially touch their own breasts on a regular basis? Surely our breasts play a vital part in our personal sexual pleasure and therefore presumably we'd be touching them (at least) every time we masturbated? [Frequently it is not the woman herself who detects the lump, but her partner whom discovers it whilst fondling her breasts during foreplay; which also implies that he touches her breasts and therefore knows them better than she does!]
Yet obviously many of us don't. I think this stems from the religious notion that our bodies are sinful and dirty, and therefore we shouldn't touch them; an insidious belief that still permeates society.
But this legacy is killing us!
Let's start enjoying our breasts - let's overcome our reluctance in touching them and make it a part of our masturbation sessions. We may even have better orgasms as a result - I have super sensitive nipples and twiddling them is a huge turn on. If we get to know how our breasts feel, then if anything changes we'll catch it early on, and by doing so we stand a much better chance of surviving.
Let's stop dying of this dreadful disease!
Sunday, 19 October 2008
Bush Exploring with Meditation
I've been enjoying 'Sex for One' by Betty Dodson. It's a fascinating account of her sexual history and how she helped other women (and men) become orgasmic through her workshops (and later earned a Ph.D. for her work in this field).
In a later chapter she mentions how she experimented with Transcendental Meditation - repeating a word or phrase as a mantra. She then incorporated this into her masturbation sessions with staggering results.
Curious, I decided to give it a go this morning and repeated the word "I" whilst bush exploring at the same time. I came after only a short time and my orgasm was incredibly intense and long-lasting.
The theory is that the mind state of meditation is similar to that during masturbation; so incorporating meditation allows you to more quickly reach the mind state necessary for orgasm. Also, concentrating on a mantra prevents your mind from wandering onto turn-off things like:
1) the mundane, such as doing the shopping;
2) fretting about any stressful situations you may have in your life;
3) feeling frustrated that you haven't come yet!
In a later chapter she mentions how she experimented with Transcendental Meditation - repeating a word or phrase as a mantra. She then incorporated this into her masturbation sessions with staggering results.
Curious, I decided to give it a go this morning and repeated the word "I" whilst bush exploring at the same time. I came after only a short time and my orgasm was incredibly intense and long-lasting.
The theory is that the mind state of meditation is similar to that during masturbation; so incorporating meditation allows you to more quickly reach the mind state necessary for orgasm. Also, concentrating on a mantra prevents your mind from wandering onto turn-off things like:
1) the mundane, such as doing the shopping;
2) fretting about any stressful situations you may have in your life;
3) feeling frustrated that you haven't come yet!
Friday, 10 October 2008
Female Maturbation: It feels good and it's good for us.
A lot of people still wonder, ‘If masturbation feels so good, can it really be bad for me?’ When really they should be asking, ‘As masturbation feels so good, can it also be good for me?’
The answer to the second question is a resounding ‘Yes’. [The answer to the first question is, of course, a resounding ‘no’.]
The old, false beliefs that masturbation makes you blind, mad, insensitive, insane or lethargic; can be replaced with these truthful pluses of masturbation. Masturbation is good for you; it makes you skin great and benefits your overall health. It improves your circulation, boosts your immune system and slaps a big smile on your face. It can be a wonderful way to unwind and relax and release stored-up tension. It’s also the safest form of sex; you can’t get pregnant or acquire a sexually transmitted disease from it.
With masturbation we can express love for ourselves. If a part of yourself recoils at the thought of loving yourself, because it’s considered bad in some way; realise that you can’t love anybody else until you have learnt to love yourself first (how can you if you’ve never experienced what it feels like). True. Additionally, ask yourself why it is okay to love other people, but not yourself? Let me clear-up a common misconception around self-love. People who commit heinous crimes are not those who love themselves too much; when people are referring to people who ‘love themselves too much’, they don’t mean true self-love; what they’re actually referring to are the personality traits (bragging, conceit, etc), which manifest in an attempt to cover-up self-hate. These people hate themselves because they have not learned to love themselves. They don’t love themselves because they’ve been told from an early age that to do so is evil, or they’ve never experienced love from parents who were also caught-up in the trap of believing that self-love is wrong.
Masturbation can help raise our self-esteem, by allowing us to explore and accept our bodies. Self-esteem is another positive character trait that has been given a negative press. People with high self-esteem (definition: feeling competent to live and worthy of living), are not the murderers, rapists and criminals of this world. They value their own lives too much; and because they value their own lives, they are able to value the lives of others. Plus, they’re too busy getting on with their own lives to mess it up by committing a crime. Self-esteem is essential to happiness and self-fulfilment and whilst it is not the focus of this blog, I’m made up that masturbation has a nurturing part to play in building self-esteem.
So, now you know. Masturbation not only feels good; it’s also good for us.
The answer to the second question is a resounding ‘Yes’. [The answer to the first question is, of course, a resounding ‘no’.]
The old, false beliefs that masturbation makes you blind, mad, insensitive, insane or lethargic; can be replaced with these truthful pluses of masturbation. Masturbation is good for you; it makes you skin great and benefits your overall health. It improves your circulation, boosts your immune system and slaps a big smile on your face. It can be a wonderful way to unwind and relax and release stored-up tension. It’s also the safest form of sex; you can’t get pregnant or acquire a sexually transmitted disease from it.
With masturbation we can express love for ourselves. If a part of yourself recoils at the thought of loving yourself, because it’s considered bad in some way; realise that you can’t love anybody else until you have learnt to love yourself first (how can you if you’ve never experienced what it feels like). True. Additionally, ask yourself why it is okay to love other people, but not yourself? Let me clear-up a common misconception around self-love. People who commit heinous crimes are not those who love themselves too much; when people are referring to people who ‘love themselves too much’, they don’t mean true self-love; what they’re actually referring to are the personality traits (bragging, conceit, etc), which manifest in an attempt to cover-up self-hate. These people hate themselves because they have not learned to love themselves. They don’t love themselves because they’ve been told from an early age that to do so is evil, or they’ve never experienced love from parents who were also caught-up in the trap of believing that self-love is wrong.
Masturbation can help raise our self-esteem, by allowing us to explore and accept our bodies. Self-esteem is another positive character trait that has been given a negative press. People with high self-esteem (definition: feeling competent to live and worthy of living), are not the murderers, rapists and criminals of this world. They value their own lives too much; and because they value their own lives, they are able to value the lives of others. Plus, they’re too busy getting on with their own lives to mess it up by committing a crime. Self-esteem is essential to happiness and self-fulfilment and whilst it is not the focus of this blog, I’m made up that masturbation has a nurturing part to play in building self-esteem.
So, now you know. Masturbation not only feels good; it’s also good for us.
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